Waiter, There’s A Person Of Color In My Media! Guest Post By Tristan J. Tarwater

Tristan J. Tarwater has one of the coolest names ever. But even that doesn’t encompass the coolness of the Tarwater. She is one of the champions of indie efforts in just about every aspect of creative endeavors you can think of, including but not limited to writing, comics, gaming, perfume, jewelry–there are few who are as dedicated to the indie cause in so many ways. She’s also mega-talented and I really enjoy seeing what comes out of that unique mind of hers. Plus she can kill you with her sense of humor. Tristan is one of my Favorite People, and you’ll see why when you read her post.

I was going provide a write up, explaining this skit which is a response to certain people’s reactions to African-Americans being cast in The Hunger Games, but I think the skit speaks for itself.

All of you who consume media, I hope your palates are expanded this year. All of you who create media, I hope you realize the scope of experience out there, the commonality of our emotions and that you bring truth and not typecasting forth from your minds.

Bon Apetit!


Scene: Like the restaurant from Sesame Street. You know what I mean. Tablecloths on the tables, waiters wearing uniforms and clean aprons. A Diner, a white male somewhere between 25-40 years of age sits at a table by himself, drinking from his water glass. A waiter emerges from the kitchen with a plate of food and sets it in front of the Diner.

Waiter: Here you go, sir. Bon apetit.

Diner: Right, thank you.

*The Waiter leaves to take another person’s order while the Diner places his napkin on his lap. He takes a bite of his food and makes a face of displeasure. He pokes around in his food and wrinkles his nose. As the Waiter turns from their other customer, the Diner waves his hand to get their attention.*

Diner: Excuse me!

Waiter: Yes, sir? Is everything alright?

Diner: Actually, no. I just tried this after my friends recommended it to me and well…it’s…it’s not what I was expecting!

Waiter: In what way?

Diner: Well, this right here, the…black male? I wasn’t expecting the main focus of this to be…a black person.

Waiter: Yes?

Diner: Yes, I mean, I do consume media with black people but usually the taste is more…urban?

Waiter: I see. Did you read the menu?

Diner: Of course I did! It sounded interesting and like I said, my friends love this but…I mean, the Asian person isn’t even a doctor! And I thought these Latino bits would be spicier.

Waiters: I see.

Diner: Overall, I am…really disappointed in this dish.

Waiter: Is it bad?

Diner: No. It’s just…not what I’m used to. I eat out quite a bit and this is just…very different. Not like Mom used to make, you know?

Waiter: Here at Cafe Media the chefs are always trying new things to open the palates of their diners. It’s our hope that by combining our ingredients in different ways, we might expose our clients to new possibilities and to the realities that many people actually do experience and face.

Diner: Well really, I just came here for my lunch hour and…I was not expecting this.

Waiter: I see. Would you like me to take it back?

Diner: No…maybe if you could bring me some ranch dressing, I can just throw that on top.

Waiter: Of course, sir. *the waiter nods and leaves*

Behold, the Tarwater!
Behold, the Tarwater!

Tristan J. Tarwater is the author of The Valley of Ten Crescents series and Botanica Blues, as well as a contributor to the RPG site, Troll in the Corner. When she’s not building worlds inhabited by all kinds of nutters she finds herself momming, housewifeing, putzing around on Twitter and playing with perfume. You can find out more about her at Back That Elf Up or on her Facebook.


A Look at the Gulf Oil Spill From the Current Generation

Credit to Charlie Riedel / AP
Guest Post: The original question was about whether or not the animals affected by the Gulf oil spill should be euthanized. The answer ended up to be quite a profound statement about not only the oil spill, but about the consequences of our actions. Here is an essay by a 27 year-old man from the generation who will be reaping the “benefits” of generations of people who have continually dropped the ball.

By Christopher Bertonica

Fuck this question, the question that should be asked is how did we as human beings let this situation (and others) happen in the first place? The level of awareness that humanity needed to overcome the obstacles of our own demise is long lost. This world of greed will die in greed b/c that’s what is making everyone happy. No argument. If it wasn’t, then wouldn’t it change? What is it? It is everything we have influence over. We are everyone on this planet. This oil spill and other bullshit are really the thoughts of the masses??? Then I have the answer:

Push the red button. Or our children will die a much worse fated ending. WE ARE SEALING THE DEAL.

Only when the last tree has died,
And the last river been poisoned,
And the last fish been caught,
Will we realize we cannot eat money.
– Cree Indian Proverb

Fuck the world. I don’t want see my nephew starve to death or die of poisoned air. But, for some reason, not enough people care to do something about it. The whole concept eludes me to my highest understanding. WE ARE COMMITTING MASS SUICIDE ON A GLOBAL SCALE WITH EXPONENTIALLY INFINITE RESULTS. Someone died of starvation while I wrote this. Another from a curable disease they couldn’t pay for except to keep our electricity on for 30 years…. and one more on her way because she won’t get her gall bladder stent out. I wonder how I would feel if someone close to me passed away on something so insignificant. You can’t change people? Wrong. Your actions can. I lost a friend in a drunken driving accident a few years ago. I should never drink and drive anyway, but I definitely watch myself when I know I need to be driving. His actions changed me.

Put the animals out of the misery we artificially created for them or I fear the “life” they are given back will ultimately be far worse. The skies will only get darker, the water more bitter and the food more rotten. Farmers throw milk away now because of regulations. Farms with cows can produce enough clean burning methane to power their mother cities. Less than 1% of the largest desert on this planet would need to be covered with solar panels to power the world. You can run gasoline engines on methane. It was on fuckin “Mythbusters”, man. FUCKIN MYTHBUSTERS?

Again, fuck you world. You can slowly poison me and take everything away, but you will never end my will. As a baby has no understanding of its existence when it is first born, then so to death and the next existence for me.

We have no time left but to wait for the consequences.