Booty and Old Age

Diamond on music sheet

I think I’m getting old.

This doesn’t really make me as sad as you might think.

Case in point: I just watched the new J Lo video, “Booty”. There goes four minutes of my life I’ll never get back, but hey. That’s on me. Horror of horrors, there’s even a version featuring some other “artists”, a couple with famous big booties. Whatevs.

First of all, I will readily admit I’m a pop music junkie. Can’t help it. I love all types of music, and that includes such gems as Spirit in the Sky and The Monkees. I also love me some Mumford and Sons and Of Monsters and Men. I even love me some Sir Mix A Lot.

I have playlists of nothing but mindless dance tunes, hits from every decade, the blues, rockabilly, classical–and that’s only the tip of the iceberg–I have to stop there or I could be here all day. I love music, period. Sometimes it speaks when I cannot.

I love it all.
I love it all.

But the latest by Lopez? Yeah. Not so much.

I really felt my age when the first thought popping into my head was, “I wonder what her kids will think of this video?” I KNOW! She has a boy and a girl, right? Jeezum, what a message she’s sending them both. I, for one, would not want to see my mother, at any age, bending over and showing the world everything but Jesus and the Apostles. Just saying. Not a picture I want in my head. And not to be a real bitch, but the woman is FORTY-FIVE years old. When is she going to outgrow the clubbing persona?

And be crabby and old, LIKE THE REST OF US.
And be crabby and old, LIKE THE REST OF US.

Okay, I might be a teensy bit jealous of that bod. It is slammin’, I’ll give it to Jenny from the Block. But come on, now. Girl, you are not twenty any more. Are you really still grabbing men from the dance floor and giving him what he asked for? Do you want your daughter to do this? It sounds like an interesting way to catch a social disease at the very least.

There’s nothing to the lyrics but a lot of ass. That would be all right if the music carried the lyrics, but such is not the case. So you really have a lose/lose situation here.

I’m not saying you have to act a certain way when you reach your fourth decade, or that you have to dress a certain way, either. To each their own. I’m all for expressing your sexuality any way you feel is necessary to your happiness. Still, it feels like to me this is the video of a woman who is desperate to hold on to the remnants of her twenties and that’s just sad, to me. Especially since the music sucks. I bet she thanks the Universe for autotune every day of her life.

What do you think? Am I just a crabby old lady? Let me have it.

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The Goddess of Love

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This week, instead of a guest post, I thought I’d share a project in which I participated some years ago. The website is now defunct, unfortunately, but it was a really cool idea. People were invited to submit stories which they related to a certain song. The website was Jams Bio, and while you read the story online the song played in the background. I was actually requested to record this story for the website, which I did. This was the first record I ever owned.

This, and other stories I wrote for Jams Bio, appear in the collection Musical Chairs-A Jamming Bio.

The Goddess of Love

I will always remember the day I found out how men and women have sex.

The funky beat of The Shocking Blue screaming about Venus and the Goddess punctuates my stepsister’s attempt to educate me about the physical act of lovemaking.

“Are you kidding? People really do that?” The Goddess on a mountain top, was burning like a silver flame…

She nods. “See, the boy gets like this. Then, he tries that.” The summit of Beauty in love, and Venus was her name…

I’m puzzled. I’m more than puzzled, actually, I’m morbidly curious and a little bit grossed out, if you want to know the truth.

“Why? Ick.”

“It feels good.” She’s got it. Yeah, baby, she’s got it.

“How do you know?” At sixteen, she’s the Goddess of All Knowledge, for me. Every word is Gospel, every pronouncement The Word as I knew it. We sit at the kitchen table in the dingy apartment on Clark Street, windows open to the hot air of summertime. Sissy draws crude figures on my notebook cover; I would study these later, like Egyptian hieroglyphics.

“I just know. Pay attention.” She taps the pencil in the notebook. The 45 spins on the turntable, and The Shocking Blue continues their hymn to the Goddess of Desire. My foot taps in rhythm. I feel the beat in my blood. Sissy’s pencil keeps time.

She drones on, pointing to this part of the picture and that part; I’m singing with the band and imagining a stage, a sparkly dress, a microphone. I’m your Venus, I’m your fire, at your desire…

The music swirls and jives, and I can’t take it anymore. Jumping up, I dance around the kitchen and Sissy laughs. I pull her up and make her dance with me. We shimmy and shake until we’re breathless with exertion and laughter.

Collapsing on the kitchen chair and gasping for air, I say, “Play it again!” and Sissy laughs.

The phone rings and Sissy curls up on the couch to discuss with her best friend how difficult it is to teach a little sister about sex. I ignore the snide remarks and snickering, replacing Venus on the turntable and study the pictures.

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Wednesday Link Love

It’s been a couple of weeks since I did a link round-up. I’ve run across a bunch of sites and links lately, so for your pleasure (and to free up some of my bookmark space!) here are the best of the best.

Free Online Fiction

The Lifting of the Veil ~ By Chris Tejeda. Immediate disclaimer: Yes, I am indeed editing this novel of the apocalypse. And I’m loving every minute of it. It’s a great story, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

The Tale of Two Kingdoms ~ By MeiLin Miranda. See above disclaimer. This history of the Kingdom of Tremont is provocative and a fun read. Beware – it’s addicting.

Not free, but definitely worth the investment, West of Mars is the home of a fictional rock band whose adventures can be followed in ShapeShifter: The Demo Tapes. I’ve picked up a copy and have enjoyed it immensely, and I recommend you do yourself a favor and pick up a copy, too. I have plans to corner Susan for an interview and a review to be posted in a future edition of WordWebbing.

This isn’t free fiction, but in less than a week your universe is going to be ROCKED, and rocked hard, by the release of The Warded Man (released in 2008 in the UK as “The Painted Man) by Peter V. Brett. I am so excited, as I’ve known Peat for a few years, and couldn’t be happier at his success. I’ll have a complete review and interview with Peat in a coming post.

Music for the Muse

Blip.fm is a site in which you can program your own internet radio station, searching for songs from a global database. There’s interaction with other “DJs” and an option to give “props” to a favorite DJ and their choices. You also have an option of “blipping” your own favorites directly to a Twitter feed.

Pandora is a music genome project. Plugging in a favorite artist matches their sound with other bands and artists with which you may or may not be familiar. There’s even a widget you can download to a desktop; however, with Windows Vista this caused some kind of bugaroo and I uninstalled it.

At JamsBio, you can write a memory corresponding to some of your most unforgettable music. It’s a really neat way to match memories to music; fascinating to compare to other people. There’s always something cracking over at JamsBio – it’s quite an innovative site. They have a lot going on right now – free music, lists, games, and news.

Writing Related

Unsent Letters – have you ever written one? Here’s a place for them. A paying gig.

The Hong Konger – the actual experiences of a young editor on the loose in Hong Kong. He’s funny, he’s crazy, and he has a problem with French squirrels. He has a video camera and is not afraid to use it.

Elizabeth Gilbert – an excellent lecture on creativity and a whole new way to look at genius. I’ve watched this over and over. It really struck home.

This Time article explores the question: Is genius learned behavior? Very interesting read.

What? I have to write another blog post? Here is some great information about how to keep coming up with fresh, innovative blog posts without pulling out your hair.

Freedom Freelance is a fabulous resource administered by one of the most fabulous people in freelancing I’ve met. Helpful, friendly, and sharp as a tack, Angie Haggstrom is all that AND a bag of chips. Keep your eye out for this rising star.

Timewasters

I know, who needs these, right? Well, we all have to blow off steam at some point. Set a timer so you don’t get sucked in to the time/space continuum and you be a’ight.

Oh, Boomshine! How you task me. But you’re so soothing, at the same time.

Who knew falling sand could be so mesmerizing? You can even leave it for a while and come back later. Very nice.

That’s the round-up for this edition. Hope you find somthing here that moves you, inspires you, or helps you waste a couple of hours with bubbles and sand. Heh.

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A Round-Up of Worthy Links

My social Network on Flickr, Facebook, Twitter...
Image by luc legay via Flickr

I am  a Link Hound, a Research Ho, and I’m going to share with you some of the best links I’ve found on the ‘net the last couple of weeks. Hopefully, there’s something here that will inspire you, help you, or amuse you. If so, please leave a comment on the site you visit, or leave me one here . Enjoy!

Helpful:

A brand new forum of internet marketers, Simple Machines Forum promises to be THE place to be for all things related to getting your business off the ground and running. It’s in the early stages yet, but there’s the potential for a great meeting of the minds and an opportunity to get in on the ground floor. I’ll definitely be picking some brain cells here.

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What It's Like

A post on my private blog was the inspiration for this one — I was having a restless night, wrestling with the hamsters. You know, the rodents that run around in your head chasing each other, nibbling on their tails, chewing the furniture and pooping on the floor.

Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t pretend.

Anyway, I logged on to the computer, plugging into my favorite musical playlist. Randomly (although I’m Very Suspicious of Random Events, aren’t you? I mean, I get the feeling some things are Not So Random, but I digress,) one of my favorite tuneages showed up, and I hunted down the video.

What It’s Like

Please go watch. I’ll wait.

****

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My Musical Universe

For me, music and writing are intimately intertwined. I don’t always listen to music when I write, but I find some of my best work comes when listening to some of my favorite music. The piece I’m working on dictates the type of music I’ll listen to while typing along.

Music will spark ideas, ruminations and memories. Oh! The memories…

My momma was very active in the “little theater” when we lived in upstate New York. (When I say “upstate” in relation to New York, I mean Central New York, in the Fingerlakes region.) Not only did we listen to pop AM radio (Sly and the Family Stone, The Ray Coniff Singers, The Jackson Five, Three Dog Night) I was also exposed to musical theater – “Anything Goes”, “Guys and Dolls”, “Brigadoon” is just a small example. I learned to appreciate all genres and keep an open mind in regard to the various types of music. Rap, blues, country, classic rock, alternative, hard rock, one hit wonders, classical and pop – my collection is eclectic and I love it all.

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Just another day in Empire Building

The Muses Clio, Euterpe and Thalia, by Eustach...Image via Wikipedia

Unfortunately, my primary job has taken precedence over tweaking. This does not make me happy — as a matter of fact, it makes me rather crabby. At some point, something has got to make way.

In the meantime, JamsBio may be of some interest to you. I originally found the site in the early stages, when they were calling for writers to submit their “JamsBios”, or music memories. As a total music freak AND a writer, this was right up my alley.

The website is loaded with really cool features, including a widget you can post on your own blog. (if I haven’t posted mine yet, it’s in the works.) The memories run the gamut, covering every genre of music and the memories themselves are touching, funny, thought-provoking and…well, memorable.

Take a look. It’s a unique way to visit some of your favorite music, and maybe the Muse will sing to you and inspire you to share some of your favorites.

Today’s Quote:

“Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.” ~Gene Fowler

Quote courtesy of The Quote Garden .

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