Booty and Old Age

Diamond on music sheet

I think I’m getting old.

This doesn’t really make me as sad as you might think.

Case in point: I just watched the new J Lo video, “Booty”. There goes four minutes of my life I’ll never get back, but hey. That’s on me. Horror of horrors, there’s even a version featuring some other “artists”, a couple with famous big booties. Whatevs.

First of all, I will readily admit I’m a pop music junkie. Can’t help it. I love all types of music, and that includes such gems as Spirit in the Sky and The Monkees. I also love me some Mumford and Sons and Of Monsters and Men. I even love me some Sir Mix A Lot.

I have playlists of nothing but mindless dance tunes, hits from every decade, the blues, rockabilly, classical–and that’s only the tip of the iceberg–I have to stop there or I could be here all day. I love music, period. Sometimes it speaks when I cannot.

I love it all.
I love it all.

But the latest by Lopez? Yeah. Not so much.

I really felt my age when the first thought popping into my head was, “I wonder what her kids will think of this video?” I KNOW! She has a boy and a girl, right? Jeezum, what a message she’s sending them both. I, for one, would not want to see my mother, at any age, bending over and showing the world everything but Jesus and the Apostles. Just saying. Not a picture I want in my head. And not to be a real bitch, but the woman is FORTY-FIVE years old. When is she going to outgrow the clubbing persona?

And be crabby and old, LIKE THE REST OF US.
And be crabby and old, LIKE THE REST OF US.

Okay, I might be a teensy bit jealous of that bod. It is slammin’, I’ll give it to Jenny from the Block. But come on, now. Girl, you are not twenty any more. Are you really still grabbing men from the dance floor and giving him what he asked for? Do you want your daughter to do this? It sounds like an interesting way to catch a social disease at the very least.

There’s nothing to the lyrics but a lot of ass. That would be all right if the music carried the lyrics, but such is not the case. So you really have a lose/lose situation here.

I’m not saying you have to act a certain way when you reach your fourth decade, or that you have to dress a certain way, either. To each their own. I’m all for expressing your sexuality any way you feel is necessary to your happiness. Still, it feels like to me this is the video of a woman who is desperate to hold on to the remnants of her twenties and that’s just sad, to me. Especially since the music sucks. I bet she thanks the Universe for autotune every day of her life.

What do you think? Am I just a crabby old lady? Let me have it.

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